Narcissism is a very widespread issue today in our society. Most of us have heard the term “narcissistic” thrown around in conversations from time to time. This term is often used to describe an individual who is full of themselves or overly cocky.
However, a true narcissist is an individual that is completely selfish, has a grandiose sense of self importance and is very entitled.
Relationships with narcissists can be extremely difficult, because they lack empathy for others and often take advantage of others for their own benefit.
Although narcissism is common today, is it not always simple to tell if an individuals is a narcissist or not. Here are 9 signs that indicate you are dealing with a narcissist.
1. They are likeable in the beginning, very likeable
When narcissists begin relationships, they are often very charming. Narcissists are often described as personable and charismatic, and this is what draws others to them. Typically in the beginning stages of a relationship, it is difficult to see how someone so kind could be so selfish. Later, the true colors begin to show.
2. Everything is always YOUR fault
Narcissists typically do not take responsibility for their mistakes. Instead, the place the blame on you. This is a frequent behavior of narcissists. Somehow the issue had nothing to do with you and now it is all your fault. Narcissists do not like to take blame for anything and do not see a reason to change.
If they are angry, it always your fault.
3. They don’t want to hear about you
Narcissistic listening is one-sided listening. Narcissists aren’t interested in listening to you vent about your bad day, or hearing funny story you wanted to tell them. They only want to talk about themselves, and may interrupt mid sentence and change to the subject to relate to themselves.
4. They can do whatever they want
Since narcissists feel that they are special and above others, they believe they can get away with whatever they want. This is also known as “Tall Man Syndrome.” The rules that apply to you do not apply to them.
5. They are envious of your relationships with others, but they won’t say so
Narcissists are often envious of others, but they will never admit to that. They may become jealous of your close friendships with others over time and begin to criticize them.
This also has to deal with them being able to control you, and having you all to themselves.
6. Your needs don’t matter to them
In a relationship with a narcissist, your needs will always come last. It’s their way or the highway!
7. You begin to lash out at the narcissist
When you begin to lash out at narcissists or begin mimicking their controlling behaviors, this is sign you should not ignore. It is common to take on behaviors of others after spending lots of time together, but see this as a warning sign.
8. You feel needy and codependent in the relationship
Because narcissists make everything about them and do not focus whatsoever on you, you may become obsessive and needy in the relationship. If you do feel this way, the narcissist will often be unsupportive and unaccepting of these feelings.
9. They put you down to make themselves look better
Narcissists are extremely arrogant and will do almost anything to make them look good. If you had an idea, they may put you down and say that’s stupid, then later take credit for the idea for the appreciation and admiration of others. They will go to extreme lengths to make themselves look great, even if that includes intentionally putting others down.
Why are narcissists found attractive?
Due to narcissists often seeming perfect in the beginning of a relationship, this may draw others to them. Narcissist are often intelligent and very good at lying, which can fool many people.
The confidence of narcissists and the way they carry themselves can very be endearing. They are often attractive and may appear caring.
It is crucial to know the signs of what a relationship with a narcissistic individual look like. Relationships with these individuals can be damaging, hurtful and destructive.